Fathering 4/13

1. According to Joseph Pleck, how did the role of fathers change in the United States over time? What are the expectations about fatherhood today, both according to the article and based on your own observations?

In earlier times, fathers were viewed as the role models, the person who was supposed to lead their children with their moral guidance. Mothers were just there to nurture the children, but were almost like children themselves; therefore the man was the role model. The father was especially close to the son. Mothers had a very distant relationship from their male offspring. The fathers worked very closely with his boys- Often taking him on as an apprentice. As time went on, the father’s role changed. Mothers began taking on more than just a nurturing role. They served as a role model as well. Fathers took on the appearance of the breadwinner. In this time, fathers were needed more as providers then mentors to their children. Gaps between the father and children got larger. Critics started to become concerned with the father as an absent figure in the children’s lives. They felt that leaving so much responsibility to the female gender was a bad idea. Too much nurturing, in their opinion, was detrimental to the children’s sexual development. Too much mothering caused children, especially sons to become homosexuals. Therefore, over time, Fathers stepped in as a sex model. The father was responsible for showing the sons how to be ideal men, and the daughters as ultimate females. Fathers started to become a lot more present in the children’s lives, giving them a healthy balance between mothering and fathering. As time progressed though, industrial America prevailed over the family and capital needs began to take president in the household. Fathers once again took on the role as the breadwinner, even though mothers often to left the home to pursue their own careers. Very rarely do you hear of a stay at home father.
Today, I believe a father’s role is much like stated in an article. They are distant role models that are primarily there to provide financially for their family, while the mother once again is a dominantly nurturing role. To this day, I do not know any stay at home dads that I can think of. In fact, I feel a man would be ridiculed if he stayed home with his children. A man is thought of as the old fashioned breadwinner. In my own family my father is not very present in my social and academic life. His main priorities are with his business. Even though he is not always there, there is no doubt in my mind that he is not a loving parent, providing for me in the way he deems he should be. I always thought that my mom was the present parent- always involved in everything I do. Talking to other people my age I feel like my situation is not any different than my own.


2. According to Francine Deutsch, why do couples with children decide to work alternating shifts, and how is that decision related to their social class status? How does these families' division of labor compare to their gender ideologies? Would you select an alternating shift arrangement for your family?

From the articles,it is safe to say that most families choose to work alternating shifts because they do not want to have their children raised by strangers. By raising them themselves, they always know that their children are safe and their morals are instilled in them. Most families, especially Blue Collar households need to have both parents work for financial needs. To them and white collar parents they feel likie it is the best alternative for their children- even if the couple's time together is hurt by the situation. White collar families do not always need the extra salary, but most women agree that they enjoy the extra time out of the house. In both cases the man was the breadwinner. The men wanted to be the main financial provider in the family. They also enjoyed being the father figure as well.
Even with alternating shifts, the wives still contributed more in the housework than the men did. Ironically, the wives though gave the husbands more credit than the husbands felt they deserved. It seemed like in most cases in the articles, where the men actually saw how hard it was to run the household, they appreciated what it meant to be a stay at home parent. Therefore, they were more helpful when participating in the household tasks. Because they alternated shift, one parent would take care of the morning duties and the other would take care of the evening duties when they got home from their shifts. This system seemed to be the best when it came to how the work was divided. If not equally divided, it could get really close. This system is opposite than the normal ideology for the genders. Even though men still continue to be the main breadwinners, they are also playing the role of "Mr. Mom". Women are helping with the financial ssituation, the typical traditional role of the man, while coming home and taking care of her motherly duties.
I would not necessarily chose to have an alternate shift way of living. I would chose a happy medium between my relationship with my husband and my children. I do not care what the article says, you cannot tell me that never seeing your spouse is good for a person's marriage. To me, I feel it would put alot of stress between my husband and I. I was raised by a part time nanny when my mother went back to work and I feel I turned out just fine. For a family to function I feel all family members need to be together a significant amount of time. I think children benefit from being with both parents. Living in a household where they never see their parents together I feel wouldn't be healthy. They need good role models. And what is a better model than two happy loving parents that work hard to provide for their family and still manage to keep the family together.



3. According to Dorothy Roberts, what are the societal forces that discourage family participation of Black fathers? What elements of Black fatherhood led to the creation of the myth of the Absent Black Father, and what patterns of Black men’s behavior contradict this myth?

According to the articles, as a whole, the Black community is mostly a matriarchy. Children are primarily taken care of by the mother or another “other mother”. Society might focus on the lack of a father’s role in children’s lives, but really, they are being more than compensated. As a community, a child is truly raised. Every member of the family- mom, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and siblings all take part in the raising of a child. Fathers are somewhat absent because of the whole welfare system. Because of this sort of financial help, father’s who are unable to provide for their families have that backup plan. Statistically, Black men have a higher rate of unemployment for whatever reason. Therefore, because the father’s role in any family is primarily a financial one, there lacks a need for the father to be present since the family’s primary nurturer is the mother.
The myth of the Absent Black Father came along with the high rates on single motherhood. People assumed that just because a man was not married to their child’s mother, meant that they were not present in their lives. Also, just because a man cannot financially support his family, does not mean he is also completely absent from the child’s life. It is called a myth because Black fathers are actually very present in the child’s life. They are usually present in the kid’s life as more as a mentor or friend rather than the breadwinner of the family. Just because a family does not go according to a society’s norm, does not mean that there is anything wrong with how the family functions. As long as the father, or father figure, is present, the child can have a healthy balance between both parents.