Feb. 26, 2007

1. Briefly explain the egalitarian myth that Hochschild documents in her chapter. What is emotion work and how is it related to this myth? Compare Holts' situation with your observations on the division of labor in your family or those of your friends.

The egalitarian myth the Hochschild documents is the idea that the work in a household will be divided 50-50. That that man and woman will share both a career working life, a house life, and parenthood equally. The myth is that this can happen. Unfortunately, it can't. There is always going to be one half of the couple who feels like they are taking the blunt of the work. For instance Nancy, she feels like her husband, Evan, is not helping out as much as he should. She feels like she shouldn't even have to tell him, she expects that he would want to help out and be the couple that equally shares the work in their family. Evan feels like he is doing a great job. He feels like the woman should though be the main domestic worker. He thinks that the woman should have a career, if she can handle the work at home as well. This is a prime example of an idea the sounds perfect on paper, but in the real world just doesn't work.
There is always one side of the relationship that is going to feel taken advantage of. They are going to be emotionally drained from trying to get the other one to feel their pain. Both sides of the couple will feel like they are doing the best job they can. Unfortunately, when both feel like they are doing the best they can, nothing will change because stubbornness will get in the way like human nature does. Emotions will just increase and nothing will change. This is one reason that equality in the home will never happen. (I am not too clear on this idea of emotional work. If you could go over it in class, that would be great. I'm getting my concepts confused.)
My family's situation was a lot like the Holt's. When my parents were married, there was always tension between my mother and father surrounding the work around the house. In fact, it was one issue that eventually led to their divorce in 1996. My mother was a stay at home mom and took care of the house and the chores that surrounded everyday life. My dad was a business man trying to build a sound career in the working world. He traveled a lot and was never around during the week. On the weekends, my mother expected my father to be home and spend time with his family. She would usually have small tasks around the house for him to do, that my mother was not able to. This usually led to arguments about how my dad had been working all week and wanted to relax. He refused to acknowledge my mom as a working woman, even though being a mother and a housekeeper was a full time job in itself. Before they started having marriage problems, when they were younger I guarantee you that my mom would have claimed that the marriage was 50-50 when it came to the house work. To this day, my father would still claim it was 50-50 because of the idea that 'bringing home the bacon' was a type of domestic work. Without him working and traveling all the time, we would not have the nice house and the lifestyle my mother and her children lived. It is my opinion that an equal share of domesticity is a myth. In a household there is no way to balance it out. There are always going to be feelings of not being appreciated because as humans, we always feel the need to be better and we are competitors. Therefore, we always strive to do more than others to make up for something we are lacking in another part of the relationship.



2. Explain the concept of the “ideology of domesticity” described by Williams. What are the three constraints that domesticity places on the organization of work in our society? Based on what you learned from lectures and movies, did ideology of domesticity exist in hunters and gatherers societies? In colonial America? Use specific examples to support your answers.

The "ideology of domesticity" described by Williams is the idea that men belong in the market place, while women stay home and take care of the kids and their household. Making it an equal blend between the working world and domestic world. The gender system is very defined, and no one tries to bend or step over the line and change their role. This ideology is an out dated ideal in our modern society. It is more a part of the nuclear family that is dissolving because of great numbers of women working outside of the home.
The first constraint that domesticity places on the organization of work in our society is that when women are only working in the household, they are not out in the market work getting paid for the on average, 31 hours, a week they are working. Therefore, with divorce becoming more popular, women are left with no other job besides housework to support them and their children. Therefore, 40% of divorced mothers are living in poverty after divorce.
The second is that domesticity makes it so that the fathers have less of a role in the children's life than the mom does. With the mom always home and the fathers always at work, the children are not having relationships with their fathers. Children need both parents in their lives to help their development as they get older.
The third is the pressure that society then puts on fathers to support their family. Being the breadwinner there is a need for the father to perform at his best. There is constant competition to do better and make more money. There solitary role is to bring home the money. If he can't bring home the money, he fails as a father and as a man.
In a hunter-gatherer society, the 'ideology of domesticity' was very prevalent in everyday life. Today, it has just taken on a more modern edge. Women's main job was to raise children, cook, and take care of their settlement. Men would hunt and gather the food and necessary supplies. Very rarely, would the women help with the men's task. The men were seen as the overseers. Divorce was common, unlike what many would think. But in their society, men were not bringing home money, they were bringing home food and supplies for the family. In the hunter-gatherer society, no one was left behind. In today's world families must fend for themselves. Within the society families all watched out for each other, no one would feel alone.
In colonial society the ideology was also present. Women had no rights outside of their home. They could not vote or even divorce their husbands. This made the ideology a reality because men could do whatever they wanted. Women were men's property. A woman's role was as a mother, nothing else. Jobs outside of the home were not accepted. Making the division among the genders even more severe.


3. Explain Williams’s argument about sex discrimination and the “free choice.” Do you agree with her?

Williams's argument about sex discrimination, highly surrounds the idea of 'ideology of domesticity'. People hiring will more often pick a man because the boss feels that he will have more time to be the "ideal worker", which is someone who puts in 40 hours a week all year round. They feel that women have too much going on at home that they will not put as much effort into their job in the market world. Also, women have the "free choice" to work where they would like. This is incorrect. Williams's argues that women take lesser skilled jobs and ones that take less education because that is where the women are thrown into. There is more of a chance a women will work in a store than a women working in a law firm. Is that a woman's fault? No. In a male dominant society, women do what it is possible for them to do. They are constantly told that their place is inside the home, while the male is supposed to support them. Old fashioned ideals are seen everywhere. I agree with Williams's ideas. I think that women do not have a free choice. I think society dictates where they can go. In a male dominated society, we do not have the same chances handed to us that men do. If women want to achieve their goals I believe we have to work harder because it is more difficult for us to achieve them. There is more of a chance that we will have to interact with men at higher skilled occupations and they will give us a harder time moving up in our positions.

4. According to Carrington, how does the household division of labor in lesbigay families compare to that in heterosexual families? In his view, what are the reasons for these differences or similarities?

With homosexual couples, a couple would claim that the domestic work is equally divided between the two people in the relationship. This is almost the same with both heterosexual and homosexual couples. Carrington claims that this is a myth, that it is impossible for the work to be exactly split into two. He claims that there is always one partner that takes on the bulk of the work- usually for the reason that one has longer working hours and does not have the time, like their partners do. But ironically, even if deep down they know the work is not equally shared, the couple will claim that both the partners work loads in the household is fair. She tells a story about Richard and Joe, partners that live in San Fransisco. Richard feels that because he purchased the house he lives in, his work stops there. He feels like he doesn't need a perfect house, and if Joe wants a clean, well put together house, that's Joe's deal, not Richards. Joe feels that Richard is selfish. He claims to understand that Richard has long hours, but thinks that Richard takes him for granted all to often. He would like help around the house. In the beginning though, he claimed that the work load was fair. Whether he claimed this because Richard is the financial provider or not, is not the issue, the fact that he claimed the workload was fair and he didn't truly believe that, eventually led to their breakup.
With homosexual couples, there is a larger rift between partners than in heterosexual relationships. Society sets roles for each gender. The woman usually takes care of the house while the husband brings home the salary. With heterosexual couples, the roles are clearly drawn leaving no one in the relationship feeling that they are not going with the grain of things. With two lesbians, someone has to take the role of the housekeeper, traditionally the woman's role, and the other the role of the breadwinner. With Arlene and Dolores, there is an issue with this. Even though Arlene works longer hours and isn't around the house as much, she feels like she is failing at her role at being a woman. You can tell her insecurities by her need to dress ultra-feminine. Dolores is more laid back and secure with her role inside the relationship and doesn't feel the need to express her feminine side with makeup and high heels.